Did you notice emotions self-feed? Both feelings and emotions when are nurtured they grow, become stronger, like the muscles of the body when you workout. But that’s not always good.
From anger to love, from hatred to compassion, all emotions and feelings self-feed. How does it happen? We feed them, with our automatic reactions, our unconscious behaviours triggered by “buttons” that someone or something pushes like when you turn on the light.
Actually, what are triggers, the buttons that ignite our reactions, emotions, feelings, if not thoughts in action?
Somebody tells us something, accuses us of having made a mistake or having avoided a duty, we can be accused to be offensive and we respond automatically but our reaction is not outside of ourselves but a thought that was born in our mind. What is said or done to us passes through our judgment and again what is a judgment if not another thought? This is “thoughts in action”.
Let’s focus on negative emotions and feelings
If you have already attained a certain level of awareness, the next time you fall prey to a fit of anger, if you can try to pause for a moment, focus on your body. I know it’s a challenge like no other. But think of how it’s hard to stop anger when it chained you up. Try to perceive how anger arises and how it grows like a wave until it tightens your chest, blocking your words and breath, how it contracts muscles in certain body parts.
The more you keep speaking angry words and creating negative thoughts, the more your anger grows, your heart rate speeds up, your blood pressure rises, your breath becomes faster. Your whole body responds to the need for more energy to support the effort of anger.
By the way, thoughts don’t just jump out of nothing: as long as we feed them, granting them permission to live and wander in our mind, they keep telling us what to do, controlling our reactions.
We can decide not to believe all the thoughts. We can choose which thoughts to keep and which not when they are a source of painful sensations.
When the anger and hatred are gone, check how you feel: as weak as after a run. Then, slowly, you return to a relaxed state.
Now you may be telling yourself that letting off steam, letting out all the anger is a good thing since when this strong emotion weakens and disappear, you feel “really” better.
“Let your anger out, you feel better afterwards…” everyone tells you. Although you continue to feed it even because everyone tells you that venting is good.
Many people believe that getting rid of anger is “cool” and pay good money to rage rooms facilities (aka anger rooms or smash rooms) where all types of things (from computers to furniture) can be smashed with a sledgehammer – that’s how some people get rid of anxiety, anger, hatred, resentment, fears and inner conflicts. Or this is what they imagine.
I’m sorry: throwing out anger doesn’t work. In the short and long term, these bouts of anger and energy loss can cause strokes or heart attacks. Even if you’re not retired!
“Researchers found that in the two hours immediately following the anger, a person’s risk of a heart attack increased nearly five times (by 4.74 times) and the risk of stroke increased more than three times (by 3.62 times)”. (Source: British Heart Foundation)
Let your anger out, you’ll feel better.
That’s a collective thought (opinion) which slips in your mind when a fertile soil is found.
Collective thoughts find the perfect soil to grow when an unconscious mind gets closer.
That is why many spiritual teachers suggest people not to believe every thought they have since not all “our thoughts” truly belongs to us.
Therefore emotions can be controlled!
Quite briefly take my word for it: stop believing who tells you to get rid of negative emotions or to accept them but without explaining how and why or that you have to see a psychotherapist or even that emotions are part of life so it’s okay to let them rule yourself but you need to learn to dominate them. As if it were easy.
So, before deciding whether to get rid of emotions or “to live life to the fullest” as they say, before trying to control your emotions or pretend that the negative ones are a price to pay for being human, you could try to understand where they come from, why they take over you, how they control your reactions when they occur and what is the difference between emotions and feelings and how they self-feed.
You may also find out that you, unconsciously, feed these “moods” until they become gigantic monsters – negative emotions have this supernatural power to transform into demons, like in ancient stories often used by monks to make disciples aware of what they cannot perceive conceptually.
Before leaving you to your thoughts, I’d like to warn you to pay close attention to a chart or scheme you can find on the internet – used to compare feelings and emotions; the differences between the two are shown but in a very contradictory way. In the end, you still have no clue what is what.
The chart has been republished by several blogs and whoever did it claims to have the knowledge to establish that “feeling” and “emotion” are not synonymous but without being able to explain the reason completely.
As soon as I find the time to write a post about the “real” differences between emotions and feelings, I will publish it.
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PS, I’ve got this perception that you are wondering where my knowledge of this subject arises.
Good question. As you can see this is my new global blog. Hence it’s an English one. If you’d like to enjoy some Italian language idioms visit my Italian website www.marinobaccarini.it
Anyway, you are confused, aren’t you? Emotions and feeling? What have they got to do with marketing and communication?
Oh, they have a lot in common. Marketing and communication are human-made activities and they exist just because human beings exist, they are all diverse although they share lots of habits and thought-forms. That’s why I’ll also be posting articles on the human mind and its functioning.
Please, be patient, this blog is underway and soon you’ll be invited to read my “About Me And Why I Am In Business” page with all details about my personal story and qualifications.
Until then … take care of yourself.